Summer days in Indiana

As part of the daily lab exercises in the CLI program, we're having our students design blogs. They are required to type a few things in Chinese each day about what they've learned and encouraged to upload videos and pictures of cultural practices that they've learned/experienced, the goal being that they have something to mark their time in the program and a way to inform their family and friends of all that they're learning here (they can include English translations). I helped a few students create names for their blogs today and it got me thinking about my own.

It's not too often that I go back and re-read posts, but I do every now and then, and each time it brings me right back to life in Taiwan. I'm approaching the one-year mark of my departure from Taiwan, and it's one of those periods of time when I find myself daydreaming about my life there.

Noah's just left for an internship in the Philippines, an exciting opportunity that didn't seem real until the day he was actually leaving, and his return to Asia has sort of stirred my own longing to go back.

I'm required to use Chinese with the students as much as possible and while it's been getting a bit easier now that I'm speaking quite a bit every day, it has been challenging. I notice that I'm slower, that I don't seem to be as articulate, and although I'd like to think that my severe lack of sleep over the course of this program (we're only on day 8) is the main contributing factor, I'm starting to get that nagging feeling I have when I feel my skills starting to slip away.

I have been pretty honest about my confusion over the past year about what I really want as I started with research proposals, moved into the pedagogical aspect of my studies, and began teaching, and while I'm enjoying working with 22 high-schoolers who have traveled from around the country to attend a three-week intensive Chinese class, I still think that that happiest I've felt was teaching English while really being immersed in what I love. These students are hard-working and I'm happy to share what I know with them, but I really excel when I rely on my own language skills to communicate and complete tasks.

I've been pretty honest about the confusion I've felt over the past year as I began my first semester with research proposals, moved into pedagogy and my first formal teaching experiences in the U.S., and tried to figure out what comes next, but from where I stand now it seems that this was all part of the process. I've been able to narrow my search for the type of career I want, and I guess I'm realizing that knowing what you probably don't want is half the battle (although it's hard to see it that way when you've just discovered you need a new plan). Maybe I wasn't ever really that lost after all.

A little spring in my step

I opened my computer this morning and had a message from Julianna. When I first returned to the States last summer and began grad school in the fall, I was "homesick" for Taiwan. As I got more comfortable with my life in Bloomington that feeling gradually went away, but I've found myself occupied with thoughts of Taiwan for the past month or so. I realized that it probably had to do with the fact that it was once again Chinese New Year and one year since my friend Jenni had come to visit me in Taiwan. I had also received an earlier message from Peiwen and we finally found time to Skype just as the lunar new year was about to begin. I looked into flights to Taiwan, but tickets for the weeks I thought I might be able to go were outrageously expensive. So I turned to my trusty method of browsing a hungry girl's guide to taipei to ease my sadness of missing dear friends and some of my favorite spots.

Back to this morning. For some reason or another I started thinking about my blog and remembered that the last post I wrote was a bit negative and not really reflective of my current thoughts and feelings. Last semester was difficult just because it was all new, but I also realized that I was taking a number of basic classes that I was interested in, but weren't really helping me figure out my exact niche in my studies. This semester's classes mostly focus on Chinese linguistics and pedagogy, so I'm starting to delve into the heart of what I wanted to do. I feel like I'm really starting to define who I want to be as an academic and my classes are giving me the information I feel like I need to set me in the right direction.

In other good news, I had begun looking for a part-time job late last semester as I realized that I'd really need to supplement my income to get through the holidays. As anyone who knows me well already knows, I've dreamed about working as a florist since middle school. The closest I got to the action was the summer I interned at The Carter Center and worked part-time for an ice cream shop that shared space with a florist and a cupcake shop. It was pretty much my favorite place in the world. Then in Taiwan, I met Sonia, a self-taught floral designer. I went to the flower market with her and watched her and her partner arrange beautiful bouquets of dark red roses interspersed with little bright red flowers that looked like prickly mini strawberries.   A few months ago I had contacted the owner of a local florist with really stunning creative, contemporary designs. She wasn't hiring at the time but did recently contact me for an interview and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll finally get the opportunity to be a part of something so inspired.

By this time next week I'll be home, having just begun my spring break. I am so excited to have another spring break at home-- it's been three years since spring break of my senior year at Lawrence. My brother Phillip and I also have the same break, which would never have happened while I was at Lawrence, so it's really great to know that we'll be at home together.

Well, that's all for now. It's time for a little brunch!